The One-on-One: The T-Bone Steak of Meetings
Scroll through my Instagram feed and you’ll find a predictable mix: golf swings, briskets on smokers, and my personal favorite—videos from butchers. Not the slick commercial ones, but the old-school experts who know their way around a carcass and aren’t afraid to tell you that the $1 chuck steak is actually a gem in disguise. With the right cut, marinade, and prep, they transform it into something that sells for $10 a pound.
These butchers often rave about the most underrated cut in the case: the T-bone steak. Often overlooked, the T-bone is actually two prized steaks in one—New York strip on one side, filet on the other—separated by a bone. Buy them separately and you’re paying a premium. Buy a T-bone, and you get both in one glorious package.
That’s exactly how I feel about the one-on-one meeting.
It’s the T-bone of leadership. One meeting, two disciplines: leadership and management. When done right, the one-on-one is the most valuable meeting on your calendar—because it combines empathy, accountability, strategy, coaching, and trust-building all in one session.
At the Esteemed MBA, here’s how we teach it:
Part One: The Direct’s 10 Minutes – Where You Earn Your Leadership Stripes
This first section belongs entirely to your direct report. They set the agenda. They bring the topics. It’s their space to talk about wins, frustrations, blockers, goals, or whatever’s on their mind. They should talk about their roles and responsibilities, but they don’t have to. This is their time.
And this is your time to lead—with empathy.
You listen. Fully. Square your shoulders. Make eye contact. Mirror their body language. Take notes. Ask questions to clarify—not to judge. This is how trust is built. At the Esteemed MBA, we teach that the greatest gift you can give someone is to make them feel heard. These 10 minutes are your moment to give that gift.
Part Two: The Manager’s 10 Minutes – The Accountability Hammer
The second section is yours.
Here, you switch hats from leader to manager. And the goal of management is simple: Results and Retention. That’s it. Drive outcomes, and keep your best people.
Use this time to hold your direct accountable for what matters—weekly goals, deliverables, KPIs, career progress, even personal development. Be clear, be direct, and be consistent. This is where the pressure comes in, where your expectations are laid out, and where follow-through is king.
You don’t have to be a jerk—but you do need to be a drill sergeant for 10 minutes. Hold the line.
Part Three: The Future – The Next Seven Days
The final 10 minutes are about forward motion.
Ask: “What’s on your hotplate this week?” or “What are the three things you’re going to get done before we meet again?”
This section is equal parts tactical and strategic. Sometimes it’s a simple check-in on short-term deliverables. Other times, it’s a chance to open the aperture—career direction, job satisfaction, communication styles, team dynamics. Let it breathe. Ask thoughtful questions. Listen closely.
It’s also where you reinforce your dual role: Manager (driving results) and Leader (investing in growth).
The T-Bone Takeaway
The one-on-one is the most important meeting of your week. It should be sacred—scheduled, consistent, and never skipped. Yes, it’s for the direct’s benefit. But don’t forget: it’s also your best training ground to become an Esteemed Manager and Leader.
Because just like the T-bone, the one-on-one isn’t fancy—but it’s damn effective.
Try it. Master it. Be Esteemed.
